Who does this? Who volunteers to cut their hot senior Anatomy TA’s hair when one is a slutty freshman without even a shred of a Supercuts resume. Me.

It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. When he sauntered over to my lab table and asked if anyone knew how to cut hair, I felt my hand immediately rising into the air before giving it a second thought.

Sure enough I was over at his fancy upper-classmen apartment at 7:30pm cutting his hair in the bathroom. After a grueling two-hour haircut with a 15 year old trimmer set called “the Peanut” he presented to me in a fluorescent orange pencil box, I was finally satisfied with my “work of art.” Then we started drinking. I stumbled home to my dorm after several hours of drinking games only to get a call at 4:30am from the same T.A. Better late than never right? I walked my ass right back over there.

This time I got a glimpse of the bedroom, which had a disturbing large painting of two chocolate cialis labs over the bed. For some reason, the light to the bedroom was on the other side of the room. I was sitting on his bed when he turned out the light and lunged at me like Wolverine from the X-Men and had me in my birthday suit in mere seconds. I insisted that we not have sex, in fact I had to plead that we not have sex because I was a virgin. I paid dearly for this hookup stipulation.

He made a naked trip to the bathroom and returned with some fruity Bath and Body Works lotion. He proceeded to straddle me in a genuflection posture (yeah, I’m Catholic) while jerking off over me. He likely had his eyes closed b/c if he could have seen the look of horror on my face he would have immediately lost his hard-on. Please keep in mind – I was drunk, young, and he was my TA – and for the record the hottest guy I have ever hooked up with. Paralyzed in awkwardness, I allowed myself to be titty-fucked. The next morning was the crowning glory when gathering my clothes to go home, he said “Alright, take care. See you Tuesdays at 1 o’clock.” (my lab time)

I got an A in anatomy that semester.

-McCormick