- The name is Reese, and you’re looking like someone who would suck on my piece.
- Does God know you’ve escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place.
You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
- Hey. Do you have that Hawaiian disease? Comeoniwannalayya?
- I’m like chocolate: I go straight to your ass!
- Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a “Do-it-Yourself Shop.”
- I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If you don’t cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
- Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
- Who wants a mustache ride?
- My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome.
- Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
- OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
- Are you busy tonight at 3:00 am?
- Bond. James Bond.
- You are babe-a-licious in a dangerous way!
- If you were aspirin, I would take you every four to six hours.
- Be careful…I don’t want my anus to break.
- Do you want to get into a car accident? I could hit it from behind.
- Hey…somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.
- I only have three months to live…
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
- Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
- Wow. (this one could actually work)
- You must be one hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
- (Grab the ass) Pardon me, is this seat taken?
- What’s your sign?
- That shirt is very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
- There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
- Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let’s get the hell out of here.
- Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
- Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
- Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have a swelling “down there”.
- If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
- Come over here and get a taste of America’s Most Wanted.
- How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
- Hi, im the new milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
- Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose. Take off your clothes.
- My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling….
- Nice pants. Can I test the zipper…
- I think we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
- Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
- You’re on my list of things to do tonight.
- Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
- We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
- Baby, I’m an American Express lover…you shouldn’t go home without me!
- Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
- Hey baby, let’s play house, you can be the door and I’ll slam you!
- Hi, my name is “milk”, I’ll do your body good hi. Are you legal?
- I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
- Miss, if you’ve lost your virginity, can i have the box it came in?
- Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
- Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
- Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
- Do you like whales? Well i have a hump-back at my place.
- You remind me of a champion bass, i don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.
Pickup lines
on Feb 12 2009by Cheeky 
| |
| | Submit your own dating disaster
My all time fav – Do you wash your pants with Windex? Because I can see myself in them!
Yo baby, if you’ll be my Dairy Queen, I’ll be your Burger King. If you treat me right, I’ll do it your way, right away.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but you can bet I’ll make your bed rock.
“Heyyyyy, is it cool if I stick my dick in ya ear?”
I called the police on you. -What?!- It’s a crime against humanity when you look that good and still wear clothes!